I’ve never felt so free. Yeah, free! Ironic…it wasn’t intentional, at all.
Best way to put it, sometimes you just need to trip yourself up to take a good look at what is going on. For me, this could be a literal trip, yes, stairs have been my nemesis since 2009…and other times, it can be a figurative trip.
A few weeks ago, I said something that offended a few people. My friends are more than aware I’m an outspoken person that can be bluntly honest at times. So, on facebook, I said something about someone that is true…which I’ve said in one way or another before. Apparently, this time…it was the straw that broke the camels back…which caused a tsunami of effects.
From this, I’ve lost one friend, a few have alienated me and others have been stuck in the middle. I’ve even had someone who I consider a great friend lie to me and say I caused everything and therefore everything that he did or said to me was my fault.
What I value from this situation, are those who’ve specifically come to me for one reason or another. Some to tell me that they’re sorry it’s come to this but they understand both parties and are remaining neutral. Others, who said they fought for me, even when I didn’t want or expect it. A fond few who were dragged into it and really are upset with the other party for being so childish and immature. And lastly, those who are staying out of it, but said I did the right thing. A mutual friend of both parties said to me “If people want to be offended, fuck em. You were being true to yourself (an awesome person) and should keep doing it.”
Korea has opened my mind in so many regards. It’s made me realize that so many people who live in another country become so dependent on a circle/network, to where (in their mind) if one piece steps out of place, they push the piece out. Not approach it, not contemplate why, not deal with the problem, just push it out.
Korea really isn’t the place for true friends. I would say it’s life as expat in general. It’s rare to meet someone who is authentic and will be there for you in the long run. As one of my friends said “In my four years of being in Korea. I can count who I consider my ‘true’ friends on one hand. People who are supportive of me, and I know won’t judge me for me decisions, and are there in the long-run, despite the distance or how often we talk.”
When you step back and look at life, everything in Korea is temporary, it’s not worth it to let frivolous stuff get to you. For some reason this situation was blown out of proportion, I don’t know who or what was the cause of that-but it’s really not something to lose sleep on.
With all of this, it’s not the trips and falls that have caused scars or hospital visits that I’ve learned from…but the symbolic ones which enlightened me to realize who my true friends are.